PMS Rage Meter

I think this topic is important for everyone, especially men, to be aware of.  No female likes to talk about "that time of the month" because let's face it, it's almost comparable to changing into a werewolf during a full moon.  We become big, irritable monsters that want nothing more than to rip anything and everything apart.  And trust me, not much sympathy is gonna happen for those who fall victim.  It's really nothing personal, it's just part of the process.

I made a lovely little meter of all the zones of the PMS routine.  Most of them you can pretty much figure out but a brief run down of the ones closer to the top might prevent massive slaughter if caution is taken.

I Will Eat You Zone - take caution if she is in this zone.  Ask her if she needs anything and if she says she's fine....then get awayyyy!  Far away...opposite end of the house away! You really don't want to accidentally provoke something that could have been avoided.  Her built up rage would be almost impossible to stop if triggered.  Also side note for those that are oblivious...and don't feel too bad, I have friends that do this to me all the time...don't ask a million times if she is doing ok and if she needs anything.  Once, max of twice, is enough.  Repetitive questions is an instant rage trigger.

You Life is in Danger Zone (I am aware it should be "your life is in danger" but my friend shouted one time "you life is in danger, man!!" and I found it hilarious so I always call this stage "you life is in danger") - This stage is basically when you messed up and you are getting attacked,  often literally...hopefully not with super heavy/sharp objects.  The only thing you can do is surrender in hopes she stops her fit.  Try not to get mad back because she will just fire back with even more rage and you will most likely end up in the final stage...My fiance has learned the best remedy for this stage if he finds himself caught up in my insanity is a peace offering of ice cream and a backrub.  Backrubs are a God sent I swear....works for me every time.  I can be ready to destroy everything and shoot lasers from my eyes but if I get a backrub....i fall back down to the mostly calm zone reaaally quickly.

Already Dead Zone - the names explains it all.  You lost, you be dead!